• Tuxman@sh.itjust.works
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    26 days ago

    I’ve heard the argument that as soon as there is one common bathroom, women will get stalked and raped in there….

    Sorry to burst your bubble but if someone wanted to attack you, it’s not a triangle dress on a sign that would have stopped them.

    • Demdaru@lemmy.world
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      26 days ago

      It can. Mostly because if a person enters wrong bathroom, everyone there will focus on them. With women going into attack mode.

      Except that if not there, that person will find another moment. x_x

        • They aren’t scared of woman. They should be scared of women.

          In most cases, an average guy could be taken by as few as 3 average women – that’s a scientific statistic, based on my scientific person science feeling about how many average women it’d take to make me feel physically threatened.

          You can throw all sorts of variables in there: is the guy an MMA fighter? Are any of the women fighters? Does anyone have weapons, from rocks or sticks, up to guns? Is one of the women Holly Holmes or Ronda Roussey? What if it’s Dwayne Johnson against Ronda Roussey, Holly Holmes, and Anne Mathis? Heck, I’d pay to see that fight. Dwayne’s not an MMA fighter, but all that mass and muscle is going to count.

          Anyway, a reasonable small group of untrained women could fuck up your average untrained guy, especially if the women aren’t holding back; so, yeah, if he isn’t scared of a group of angry women, he’s an idiot, rapist or not.

            • Schadrach@lemmy.sdf.org
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              25 days ago

              Yeah, but the key difference here is numbers. A man outstrips a woman of similar training at most of that stuff (testosterone is a hell of a drug), but the moment you have numbers on one side it changes things. It’s dramatically more difficult to protect yourself from multiple opponents and more opponents means a higher chance someone has some kind of weapon. So unless hypothetical rapey dude has a gun, it’s a very poor idea tactically.

      • NιƙƙιDιɱҽʂ@lemmy.world
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        25 days ago

        You’re getting downvoted, but I’m extremely cautious of unisex bathrooms because a creep did exactly this at a bar, using the guise of the unisex bathroom to follow me in and sexually assaulted me.

        As you stated, I’m sure he would have found any avenue to isolate me without causing suspicion that he could have found, but this certainly provided an easy method for him.

      • Initiateofthevoid@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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        26 days ago

        Do you think these assaults are happening in crowded bathrooms? Or that other women will ignore an assault simply because the bathroom is unisex?

    • EvolvedTurtle@lemmy.world
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      25 days ago

      I think we should normalize audio recordings in bathroom I mean it’s a little weird but I don’t really care if someone hears me piss

      • Duamerthrax@lemmy.world
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        25 days ago

        If you wanted to record restrooms, you could just set the camera eye level at the sinks. Something that physically can’t see into closed stalls(and make the stall wall/doors go from floor to ceiling).

        I don’t think either are going to deter assault.

        • Korhaka@sopuli.xyz
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          25 days ago

          Proper self contained cubicles, then you can just record everything outside of it and you would see anyone going in. The lock should help too.

      • ivanafterall ☑️@lemmy.world
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        25 days ago

        They could put little TVs in each stall so that you can see what’s happening in the other stalls, to be sure nobody is coming after you.

        • howrar@lemmy.ca
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          25 days ago

          They’ll come out of that job with a whole taxonomy for farts and grunts.

    • JackbyDev@programming.dev
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      25 days ago

      “You’re right! And that’s why we are also outlawing so-called ‘trans women’ from entering them!”

    • proudblond@lemmy.world
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      26 days ago

      My fifth grader is going to go through his “human growth and development” series this spring in school, and they’ve stopped separating them by gender and everyone is all in the same classroom. Very different than when I did it in the mid-90s. It’s especially good because there’s kid at school who is nonbinary and I know of at least one other who is questioning.

      • The Quuuuuill@slrpnk.net
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        26 days ago

        patriarchy enforces itself on boys starting as early as when they’re five (that’s when i was first told boys and girls can’t be friends). the patriarchy supports the types of people who are consistently republican. republicans consistently step in to defend and enforce patriarchy. if you’re familiar with the shit Akademiks got caught doing recently, that’s… that’s how patriarchy enforces itself on boys when they’re 13-16. it’s republicans doing the grooming, and republicans accusing us of grooming. and so we are clear, i am not letting the democrats off the hook here. their tolerance of intolerant philosophies is actively harmful to our survival effectively they groom us to be groomed for our patriarchal roles

          • The Quuuuuill@slrpnk.net
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            26 days ago

            that is patriarchy. it’s really hard to answer the question because the obsession with genitals being what makes our society is patriarchy. not just an aspect of it, but the entire thing. it’s like pointing at an elephant and asking how an elephant is an elephant. i’ll still try to explain best i can though.

            so. let’s define patriarchy as being similar to other systems of oppression. capitalism hinges on that the owner class exists in hierarchy over the working classes. colonialism hinges on that races and societies exist in competition and hierarchy. religious fundamentalism hinges on that the religions of the world are at war and that only one religion is true. patriarchy hinges on that men and women are naturally meant to conduct themselves in certain ways and that men exist within hierarchy over women.

            as an aside, all of this is fascism. fascism has gone by many different names throughout history. but any society that embraces these attitudes is fascist. america today is fascist. russia is fascist. the ussr was fascist. north korea is fascist. china is fascist. the self proclaimed fascists of the 1930s were, obviously, fascist. but so were the monarchs of the previous millenium, the confederated states of america, and tons of governments that have existed over the last 12000 years (particularly notably the romans and the Carthaginian).

            anyway. the thing to understand is that the patriarchy is not for men, nor does it really benefit men. patriarchy ultimately benefits a small cabal of men who take advantage of the power they have within the hierarchy to gain personal comfort. think andrew tate, elon musk, dj akademiks, drake, joe rogan.

            i’m out of energy to keep writing. please check out bell hooks in particular. she was a feminist philosopher who wrote the very influential essay “Feminism is for Everyone” which she wrote in the 1980s as powerful men figured out they could discredit feminism and say it was about things it never was by using the word “faminazi”

  • shalafi@lemmy.world
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    26 days ago

    Single-person bathrooms? Of course. Multi-person use? How many of y’all women want to share a confined space with random men?

    • glitch1985@lemmy.world
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      26 days ago

      Are you concerned the women are going to be attacked in the bathroom or is it about discovering that women also take shits?

      • shoulderoforion@fedia.io
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        26 days ago

        I dunno, maybe mothers aren’t going to want to bring their children into bathrooms men are whipping their dicks out in. Just a thought.

        • papalonian@lemmy.world
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          26 days ago

          This is the second time you’ve commented about men “whipping their dicks out” in public restrooms.

          You seem to have zero worries about men bringing their children into bathrooms where women are whipping their vag out though…

          Is it because women don’t whip their vag out in public restrooms? Well, have I got news for you about what men go to the restroom for…

          (Hint: it doesn’t involve whipping.)

          • CrayonRosary@lemmy.world
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            26 days ago

            it doesn’t involve whipping

            I dunno. When I shake my dick after peeing, I like it to make a sonic boom.

        • Echo Dot@feddit.uk
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          26 days ago

          I think you just need to stop doing that, as nobody else seems to be responding positively to the idea.

        • idiomaddict@lemmy.world
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          26 days ago

          What about fathers with children? My dad brought his young daughters into the men’s room when we were out in public, because supervision is more important than the other patrons.

          • shoulderoforion@fedia.io
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            26 days ago

            Why don’t you ask Trans Women why they don’t want to use the Men’s room any longer. Seems if there was no issue with men, I dunno, often found washing their cock, balls and assholes in the bathroom sinks, and OP’s idea that we can all be kumbaya in a Unisex bathroom, Trans Women would want to spearhead the movement, by using the Men’s rooms, but they don’t want to, and there’s an excellent reason they don’t.

            • idiomaddict@lemmy.world
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              26 days ago

              That reason is that they don’t want to other themselves. If there’s no gender connotation with the room you choose, there’s no issue. Trans people are absolutely pushing for unisex bathrooms, and most women (cis and trans) are willing to use the men’s room when the other line is long enough.

              I’ve seen women doing the same thing in bathrooms, because everyone is sometimes a mess, regardless of gender.

      • Hideakikarate@sh.itjust.works
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        26 days ago

        My grandmother always said that women don’t fart, they toot. Didn’t exactly hold true when she ripped one when she thought nobody would hear her.

      • Tartas1995@discuss.tchncs.de
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        26 days ago

        But it keeps out around 50% of the population whose presence would deter assault. People usually don’t get assaulted in a place with a lot of random witnesses.

          • Tartas1995@discuss.tchncs.de
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            26 days ago

            We are talking about public toilets. The “random” people are stranger going for a pee.

            I was agreeing with you. I was saying that other e.g. men would walk into the toilets, so the criminal wouldn’t be alone with the victim and the criminal obviously doesn’t care about the rules. But the random e.g. men that wouldn’t enter as it is a women’s bathroom, but if it is unisex, those men would enter and would deter some crimes as there would be a witness.

    • Makeshift@sh.itjust.works
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      26 days ago

      I’m probably out of touch but…what do we actually expect to happen?

      Would guys be embarrassed that random girls might see their dick at a urinal?

      Do we expect random sex in public bathrooms?

      Disclosure that I do not have a dick.

      • Tartas1995@discuss.tchncs.de
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        26 days ago

        Some people seem to think that public toilets need urinals and that urinals couldn’t be at e.g. the end of the toilet behind a cover, so people don’t have an accidental peek on a dick.

        On entry, A sideview of the urinals and potential dicks are mandatory. If not at least 6 women see me pee against their will, I will sue the government. Look at my dick, woman!!!/s

        People are just weird and can imagine that, like you don’t go out of your way to look at people change in locker rooms, you don’t go out of your way to see dicks on a public bathroom and that obviously unisex toilets would change how we build toilets.

        As a man, I haven’t seen an other man’s dick on the toilet in months… Honestly I think years but I don’t want to lie.

    • TommySoda@lemmy.world
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      26 days ago

      Well with the bathrooms divided shitty things already happen. I’d actually like to counter your point and say this’ll actually improve the issue. If someone has a bunch of guys ready to beat their ass if they do something fucked up, they might decide against it. Literally everyone in that bathroom would have to be a piece of shit person to let something like that happen whereas right now you just need one piece of shit to sneak into the other bathroom.

        • papalonian@lemmy.world
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          26 days ago

          A random homeless dude jerking off in the streets is not even in the same ballpark as someone getting raped in a bathroom, cmon. And it’s not something you “sign up for”, if you’re not a piece of shit, you see someone in danger that you can maybe help, you try to help them. They aren’t saying there’s literally just a group of dudes sitting in a bathroom waiting for someone to try something, they’re saying in a bathroom full of dudes, there’s a pretty high chance if something does happen, they’re not all going to just sit around or walk out.

            • papalonian@lemmy.world
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              26 days ago

              Uhh… ok? Not sure what I did to offend you, but sorry, I think…

              Edit: can someone else tell me what’s weird? I don’t think anyone would compare seeing a mentally unwell person fondling their wiener to getting straight up assaulted, and I don’t know anyone who wouldn’t try to stop someone from being assaulted if they could help. Where am I off?

    • jawa21@lemmy.sdf.org
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      26 days ago

      I absolutely would not care in the slightest. If they get weird or handsome they are getting pepper spray and charges pressed.

      • TommySoda@lemmy.world
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        26 days ago

        And at the same time if you had a bunch of other guys in the bathroom to beat his ass that’d be a plus too. I ain’t afraid to punch a pervert in his stupid face.

  • hash@slrpnk.net
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    26 days ago

    All for it though it’s best done when renovations are possible. Was at a place where they did it with multistall bathrooms and you had to guess which one had urinals.

    Edit: of course could also just add a sign saying urinals here.

      • ricecake@sh.itjust.works
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        26 days ago

        They’re super good for efficiency though; water, time, and space efficiency. Particularly the modern ones that basically have a one-way fluid valve so they don’t require flushing. It’s unfortunate that not everyone can use them.

    • Dragon Rider (drag)@lemmy.nz
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      26 days ago

      There should be two restrooms. One with only stalls, one with only urinals. That way we get the efficiency gains of urinals (very important at football stadiums), and nobody has to see a dick if they don’t want to.

    • Dragon Rider (drag)@lemmy.nz
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      26 days ago

      There should be two restrooms. One with only stalls, one with only urinals. That way we get the efficiency gains of urinals (very important at football stadiums), and nobody has to see a dick if they don’t want to.

  • sumguyonline@lemmy.world
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    26 days ago

    When I had digestive issues, I was a shy pooper, and just the thought of a stranger lady, let alone a stranger dude making eye contact thru the stall gap was… Unpleasant. Now that I learned very simple exercises to push the poop thru the intestines, and I drop human scat that could choke an anaconda. You are all welcome to bask in my glory in a unisex bathroom if that is truly what you wish.

    • jmcs@discuss.tchncs.de
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      26 days ago

      stall gap

      Just get rid of the door gap too. Having a gap in the bathroom stall instead of a proper door is an American thing, not a public room thing.

      • Echo Dot@feddit.uk
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        26 days ago

        What’s the gap for anyway? Do they think someone’s going to lock themselves in and they’ll need to perform some commando rescue?

        The doors can be unlocked from the outside anyway with a coin

        • ricecake@sh.itjust.works
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          26 days ago

          It started as a cost savings measure for prefabricated bathroom hardware. Tight joints need to be precise and loose ones can work around existing stuff. If your 1913 factory bathroom has rough cement floor, needing to cut wood for a tight fit is expensive, but installing some posts and hanging wall panels from them to the walls doesn’t change in price. If your plumbing hardware isn’t under the floor or behind the wall you can just put the panel over the pipe, or in front of it. No floor corner means no dust buildup, just spray the whole thing down with a hose and let it dry or flow to a floor drain if you’re fancy.
          For modern cost savings: if you have a 9" floor gap a much smaller bathroom qualifies as an ADA compliant accessible stall since it doesn’t block wheelchair users feet. Full length panels require a larger stall to allow the wheelchair user to turn the chair.

          All of that made it cheaper to have awful gaps, so people did. Now it’s cheaper to replace panels with equivalent ones, and use the most readily available cheap panel when building new bathrooms.

          All the moral panic reasons are also true, but they’re the last step before"… And that makes costs go up". Drug use and lewd activity occupy stalls, which reduces availability which means you need more. Relaxed environment makes people take longer, which reduces availability.

          • Echo Dot@feddit.uk
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            25 days ago

            So why are they a uniquely American feature. I don’t even think Canada does that like that, let alone anywhere in Europe where some of our buildings were built 100 years ago that we have to accommodate, because it’s got a random cafe in it.

            • ricecake@sh.itjust.works
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              25 days ago

              My only guess is an earlier start to wanting low cost prefabricated bathrooms, and then just momentum keeping it up. I’m seeing more places that do it right, but they’re invariably new construction.

              Not that Europeans didn’t want bathroom dividers, just that they decided to use non-mass produced ones a little longer for whatever reason, and then the prefab ones were more customizable so they went with the sane option.

              At least that’s my guess. I only read the history of American prefabricated bathroom dividers, and can only speculate on why so many others went a different direction.

        • jmcs@discuss.tchncs.de
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          26 days ago

          The excuse is usually something about some moral panic like people doing drugs or having sex in the stalls.

        • Initiateofthevoid@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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          26 days ago

          Moral excuses aside, it’s money. Huge gaps means less material, one-size-fits-all installation, and arbitrary tolerances in production. Same reason the latches constantly break or get stuck - the whole setup is mass-produced as cheaply as possible.

          But it’s not a good way to save money. On top of the obvious safety and privacy benefits, bathroom quality can completely change a person’ opinion of an establishment and is worth investing in.

    • surewhynotlem@lemmy.world
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      26 days ago

      There’s only really two things I want in life now.

      Bathroom stalls that you can’t see in.

      And to be an anaconda.

  • qaz@lemmy.world
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    26 days ago

    We have 1 unisex bathroom (literally 1 toilet) on the entire campus here, tucked away in a corner. I only ended up finding it by accident in my 3rd year. I personally would be in favor of removing the distinction everywhere, but I doubt that’s going to happen.

    • Manalith@midwest.social
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      26 days ago

      I went to a theatre a few months ago that had the bathroom setup with several stalls that had full floor to ceiling walls and doors and an open sink area. There was a wall blocking the view of the main entrance to the building, but it was open enough that, at least to me and granted I am a CIS white male, it seemed like a solid setup that didn’t feel so isolating that were something to happen in there, someone would pretty quickly know.

      I thought that style of setup should be the norm, honestly I think it’s the weird stalls that don’t actually block anything and have locks that 80% of the time are misaligned and broken that prevent us from having decent unisex bathrooms. Also, we don’t need urinals they don’t really save any room or anything.

      The only other change I’d make with this setup is I’d probably have a separate room for baby changing stations just because the one example I had was small enough that if you had that in there, it would just be in the way of people trying to get in and out.

  • kayzeekayzee@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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    26 days ago

    Bonus tip: If there’s no witnesses around, you can put an official-looking unisex bathroom sign on any stray bathroom. Most people aren’t gonna question it.

    • WhatYouNeed@lemmy.world
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      25 days ago

      And you leave it clean when you’re finished.

      Too many guys start pissing as soon as they get it out and spray everywhere. FFS I’m positive you aren’t animals like this at home.

  • 𒉀TheGuyTM3𒉁@lemmy.ml
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    25 days ago

    I think unisex toilets are necessary for changing tables (the table for changing diapers of babies). Out of the two genred bathrooms i’ve seen, i’ve rarely seen a changing table accessible to men (often only in women toilets). It makes awkward situations, which does not take place if there is a unisex room to do this.

    • milicent_bystandr@lemm.ee
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      25 days ago

      Most places in England I’ve seen have an accessible toilet (for wheelchair users etc) in addition to male and female blocks, and the baby changing is in the accessible one.

  • shoulderoforion@fedia.io
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    26 days ago

    Unisex private bathrooms are great, sure, but I’d guess the majority of mothers wouldn’t want to bring their children into bathroom men are whipping their dicks out in. Coeds have a whole different life journey their on in their nascent post pubescence, in terms of safety and body freedom. I mean, if that’s what’s being championed here, whooo boy, lol, yeah, that’s not going to work out.

      • Slovene@feddit.nl
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        26 days ago

        Wait, what? Don’t you guys just whip’em out and have sword fights where you live?That’s what we do where I come from.

        • ricecake@sh.itjust.works
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          26 days ago

          We twirl them like an idling Cessna while loudly discussing sports in front of the only sink where I come from.

    • SuiXi3D@fedia.io
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      26 days ago

      You realize people go to the bathroom to pee and poop, right? Nobody’s slingin’ their dicks around and having sword fights.

      • shoulderoforion@fedia.io
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        26 days ago

        If there were no problems, specifically with men, in bathrooms, why don’t Trans Women want to use the Men’s bathroom?

        • Tartas1995@discuss.tchncs.de
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          26 days ago

          Let me rephrase your question.

          Why does a subset of women choose the women’s bathroom, instead of men’s bathroom?

          Mhm I don’t know… Maybe… Just maybe… Because they are women? And they want to live their lives as what they are?

          Not sure.

          • shoulderoforion@fedia.io
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            26 days ago

            But OP wants there to be unisex bathrooms, and the reason for this entire comment thread, and that’s in direct contrast to what you just said, wouldn’t this subset still want there to be women only bathrooms if they want to live their lives as what they are?

            • Tartas1995@discuss.tchncs.de
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              26 days ago

              Yeah they would want to live as other women do. They, as women, would do as other women would do and go to the unisex toilet.

              There are some unisex toilets, cis and trans women have happily used these toilets.

              I am interested in that direct contrast, wanna explain?

    • TommySoda@lemmy.world
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      26 days ago

      I’m having a hard time seeing the issue here. Dads bring their kids to the bathroom too. And if you mean changing diapers, most changing stations are right next to the entrance.