Like, why is it so widespread, what causes it, what solutions are available, etc. I don’t really know how to ask this question so I hope I’m making sense

  • Econgrad@lemmy.world
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    2 days ago

    Men have been taught not to approach women in public unless it’s online in a dating app. Women have always been taught not to approach men.

    So no one is having relationships except for a very small portion of people who are disproportionately physically attractive.

    Pair that with the hypergamy that women are doing where they only chase men out of their league now for the most part and it makes things that used to be normal and taken for granted like getting married and having a family exceptional jewels that are hard to come by.

    • Pazu900@lemmy.world
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      2 days ago

      This isn’t true. This is what right wing loser podcasters claim to further the idea of women or libruls as the problem, and themselves as the solution. It’s a much deeper problem than that.

      If you actually spend time around women you’ll find that looks are a way lower priority for them than for men. You’ll find that they value things like being understanding, doing interesting things, being trustworthy, and for physical things as long as you’re hygienic and have a semblance of style they really don’t care much even if you’re heavier. And guess what? These are ALL things you can work on to improve yourself.

      Want to have more women like you? Work on yourself first. Women aren’t attracted to men who complain online about “I’m not allowed to go talk to them in public”

      • sunzu2@thebrainbin.org
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        1 day ago

        If you actually spend time around women you’ll find that looks are a way lower priority for them than for men. You’ll find that they value things like being understanding, doing interesting things, being trustworthy, and for physical things as long as you’re hygienic and have a semblance of style they really don’t care much even if you’re heavier.

        Oddly class and status is missing from this list… I wonder why

      • botterotter@lemm.ee
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        2 days ago

        At least in my experience, women tend to care about looks just about the exact same amount as men, that is to say some care almost exclusively about looks and some not at all, and everywhere in between, and at about the same rates from what I’ve seen. Anecdotal tho, and the general gist of what you said still applies, I’m just being pedantic lol

    • Lanthanae@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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      2 days ago

      Interesting that you took this post to be entirely about romantic/sexual relationships, especially since a partner should not be solely responsible for assuaging your lonliness.

      Even if everyone had a partner/spouse male loneliness would still be a massive issue because men aren’t socialized in a way that equips them to have emotionally intimate platonic friendships. If my wife was my ONLY friend, I’d still be very lonely. Furthermore, even if I wasn’t in a relationship, I wouldn’t be lonely because of the friends I have.

    • Pacattack57@lemmy.world
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      2 days ago

      I was about to write this exact thing and you’re already getting downvotes for it. People refuse to except reality.

      There is an extremely large portion of men that are scared to put themselves out there because they are ostracized as creeps and fear the consequences of social shaming. “The worst she can say is no” is no longer true. The worst she can do is take a video of you while she publicly shames you for being a creep and trying to rape her.

      • Acamon@lemmy.world
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        2 days ago

        I think the reason for down votes is that the comment suggests that issues with dating are the reason for male loneliness, when most people in the thread would argue that believing that ‘a romantic partner is the only acceptable source of meaningful emotional connection available to men’ is a big part of male loneliness.

      • Zron@lemmy.world
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        2 days ago

        Met my wife online during the pandemic.

        Dated a fair few women before her, meeting online and in real life.

        I’m not super attractive, and pretty awkward, but I always make the effort to be polite and actually listen instead of waiting to talk, you’d be amazed how far that actually gets you.

        • sunzu2@thebrainbin.org
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          1 day ago

          This is an anecdote, also having good social skills was always a clever way to make up for looks.

          Most people have not been properly socialized since childhood. They need to level up but it is one of them things kinda like being poor, you are starting behind and you need to work 2x to get to mid.

          • Zron@lemmy.world
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            1 day ago

            If you don’t have good looks, that’s one thing, you can’t really change that.

            But then if you don’t look good and you can’t try to hold a conversation, that’s your problem.

            Learn to speak, it’s not hard. go talk to people and gain some confidence. All this talk about poor socialization or being unattractive and creepy just demoralizes people that I’m sure could actually make friends and meet spouses if they didn’t preemptively pull themselves out of the situation before they gave themselves the chance