Like, why is it so widespread, what causes it, what solutions are available, etc. I don’t really know how to ask this question so I hope I’m making sense

  • deadcatbounce@reddthat.com
    914·
    4 days ago

    When you have a significant change in the population dynamic, it takes a significant time for the population not (really) effecting this change to adjust.

    From my perspective as an old bloke, Women now treat relationships as transactional or have standards that are impossible (for that individual) to achieve; men are reacting in the only way available. There are obviously a number of reasons for the changing in dynamic and I’m not making that statement to judge or analyse; mass change requires motivation. The motivation presented itself.

    To my mind society is in the same incredible flux as when the female pill became a real and accessible/allowable thing fifty years ago. Gillick competence case law didn’t happen in the UK until 1985; that’s awfully late to protect young women.

    The risks to a man of a long-term relationship significantly outweigh the potential rewards. Being aware of the overwhelming risks and deciding not to engage doesn’t stop one being lonely.

    “I used to think the worst thing in life was to end up all alone. It’s not. The worst thing in life is to end up with people who make you feel alone.” - Robin Williams

    • Sonor@lemmy.world
      31·
      3 days ago

      Could you please elaborate on what you mean by risk and why is it worse for men?

      • deadcatbounce@reddthat.com
        3·
        3 days ago

        1. https://dictionary.cambridge.org/dictionary/english/risk I’m assuming you’re not familiar with the word and English is not your first language.

          1. 80 - 90% of women win custody battles, despite prisons being almost entirely of fatherless homes. Homes where the father is the single parent have the same recidivism rate as two parent homes. 100k children each year lose contact with a parent as a result of divorce - guess which parent usually. Legal Shared parenting has almost completely disappeared.
          2. False accusations of violence are free or fully funded for women. In the England/Wales when legal aid introduced the requirement of domestic violence before legal aid was granted, on the quarter of this rule coming in (2011) applications under domestic abuse as documented by CAFCASS were multiplied by 10 times. Either men collectively decided to start beating their wives in that quarter or fully funded false accusations were exposed as an issue.
          3. About 20-30% of children are not related to their father as named on their birth certificate. Statistics from the child maintenance body in the UK shows that for the thousands of men placed on child maintenance applications over a third were shown to be false applications citing unrelated men. In France, it is illegal it seek the DNA child - father match for your own children. Visit a genealogy community or ancestry on Reddit or Facebook.
          4. In the UK the 1971 law (MCA) says effectively that joint marital assets follow the children. The woman typically gets around 80%+ of net assets because they have custody of the children. that’s a personal observation because these are private law cases. The government refuses to publish the real numbers.

        3. (I’m tired of typing now) Domestic violence against men is ignored; or the victim is arrested. There are no shelters for men and children in the whole of the UK. Erin pissey, a lovely woman, who came up with the idea for shelters for DV survivors for both sexes was removed from the organisation she started by feminists and now campaigns for DV shelters for men. All of these government money for supporting male victims of DV is given to 'Women’s Aid" after their successful bid years ago. There is still no support for male victims; it doesn’t take a genius to imagine why.

        4. (Others are going to have to help finish these.) Sixty five years after the female pill, there is no male equivalent. Women can opt out of being a mother with abortion, men don’t have the right to opt out of their equivalent. I don’t know a guy who hasn’t been told “you can take the condom off, I’m on the pill” - if he refuses a row ensues. I do know of the sale of positive pregnancy tests, condom mining for semen which is then used to become pregnant and the “on the pill” being a complete lie.

        • Sonor@lemmy.world
          2·
          3 days ago

          Thanks for typing these out! I asked more because I wanted to know where exactly you were coming from, not strictly because I didn’t have the language skills. Then again, i think it is very much worth it to have the information on these shared more widely