We have joint custody. Daughter lives with each of us for 2 weeks at a time.

  • atro_city@fedia.io
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    10 days ago

    Legal doesn’t make it not gross.

    That’s talking from a western and probably highly US-influenced perspective. Most westerners will probably find it OK if a 35 yo woman dates an 18 yo man, but the other way around it’s “gross”.

    If we’re fine with 18 year olds making decisions like enlisting in the army, why are we grossed out by them dating people double their age?

    I have stuff and money. But stuff and money is a power imbalance. An intimate relationship with someone so young would feel closer to a lengthy time with a naive hooker more than anything.

    That’s great for you, not all 18 year olds are naive hookers.

    • peoplebeproblems@midwest.social
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      10 days ago

      No, they aren’t. I didn’t say they were. I said it would feel like that. There is no 18 year old who has advanced education, faced many of the challenges of adulthood, and they still have 7 years of brain development left.

      • atro_city@fedia.io
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        10 days ago

        By that logic, 18 year olds shouldn’t drive, own a gun, enter the military, bear children, and many because they are in danger of killing themselves and others. Why are you not drawing the line at all those things but dating older men? Dating older men is more dangerous than the military? Than driving? That choosing the wrong profession?

        • peoplebeproblems@midwest.social
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          10 days ago

          No, I stated that it being legal doesn’t make it not gross.

          Something being gross is an opinion. The law can change. In my opinion, it’s gross. I’m not arguing against the law, I’m saying it’s gross.

          Instead of being offended, and trying to deflect my opinion on things that I coincidentally agree on (yes, I think 18 is too immature for all of that. I’m basing that opinion solely on the age when brain development finishes at 25), try to convince me it isn’t gross.

          • atro_city@fedia.io
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            10 days ago

            I’m disagreeing with the legal gross thing, I’m saying you are highly influenced by a US perspective that isn’t morally superior to anything. Also, I’m not offended, you seem to be since you’re the one repeatedly saying “gross” like a little child. If you cannot be reasoned with and will just be “grossed out” by it, well then, there’s nothing more to say.

            • peoplebeproblems@midwest.social
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              10 days ago

              But that’s not how that works?!?

              It’s gross to me.

              It’s legal. I’m not advocating changing that. I’m expressing my opinion it’s gross.

              What you are saying is that I can’t have my opinion. Or that my opinion is wrong. Yes I judge others based on that opinion. But my opinion isn’t preventing anyone from being gross.

              Is there some translation thing going on here where my opinion has direct impact on you? It’s not meant to. It’s meant to say that I think a 38 y/o and an 18 year old dating is gross.

              Because it’s an opinion, if you wanted me to have a different one, you would explain why it isn’t gross. Instead I’m “influenced by a US perspective (that is not true, your opinion is common here too).” Morally superior? Fine. Maybe I am being morally superior, but I am not advocating for it to be illegal. That doesn’t make sense. 18 has been decided in the States as the age of majority. Adults can adult.

              It’s still gross.