It’s time I finally admitted it. I’m posting from the YMCA

But they voted republican with a soft R

Nah, that ain’t for me

My brother’s terror and my favorite, when he was 3 he climbed over five baby gates and up and down the stairs, and somehow climbed up and gotten the good bread knife off of the top of the bookshelf it was stashed on top of. He charged into the room and waved it at us, sternly lecturing us that This. Is. Not. A. Toy. He’s 15 now and I don’t know how he’s survived this long.

If billionaires were real people they would eat their families like the rest of us

Pretty sure this one was appointed, but yeah

Dammit I would like the ninth circuit to rule the fifth circuit unconstitutional and then have a cage match in the DC circuit to figure out for the last time who the goof circuit really is

Inside of each of us are two Gojiras…

My dude who cut your hair moses

Holding it in is antithetical to the concept of diarrhea