Hossenfeffer

n. I couldn’t give a flying fuck (English English)

That’s where you keep your haggis.

Is Google really as shit as Bing? I had to Ask Jeeves to confirm that.

This is a proper hardware store. Where you can buy four candles.

You say that, but I’ve been telling people for years how good I am at shitting into a bucket from the top of a twelve-foot ladder and no-one has ever asked me for help.

The billionaire of hearts

Don’t want any Debbie-downers on Shitter once his bestie is in the big chair.

I’d probably go Roobarb as well, though still have a soft spot for Mr. Benn.

I am smokin’ hot, it’s true.

See also: Talkie Toaster

Had some friends over and I served a Cajun gumbo over rice.

What do you mean Lemmy doesn’t have karma?

It does so too and! All you need to do to reveal it is just obsessively go through your entire post and comment history on a daily basis and add up all the upvotes you’ve ever received. Easy.

If you want to learn how to use chopsticks, get a couple of friends together and order some really nice Chinese food. Serve it in bowls or on plates on a small table with you and your friends gathered around with a pair of chopsticks each.

The rules of the game are simple:

1. you can only eat what you can get to your mouth using chopsticks.
2. you can steal food off someone else’s chopsticks with your own.

You will quickly learn how to use the chopsticks!