I tried for three years to help a family member get clean. It cost me most of my savings, my relationship with my fiancee, my house as most of my money went towards treatment and whatever was left, ended up stolen by him. Also most of my family because they all blame me for what happened. And what happened is after 3 years of futile attempts to help, I finally kicked him out and instead of hitting rock bottom and helping himself, he just gave up. He became homeless, mooched off the system for a year and then died.
There’s not a lot you can do for people once they are fully in addiction. They have to want to get better for themselves. I’m sorry. I know its a shit situation and it’s gut wrenching to watch and not really be able to do anything. My best advise from someone whose been there- Make it clear your available to them if they want the help, but they have to want it. Don’t put yourself out there for someone who isn’t ready to get clean because they will take advantage of you. If they really do try and help themselves, then just be there for them. Don’t give financial support, its to tempting for an addict. Support them morally and emotionally like if they need a ride, or someone to sit in a NA meeting with them, then do that.
Remember, addiction is a disease. It changes people against their will. I don’t say this to make you loose hope for your friend, but rather to help you keep in mind that the person lying, stealing and manipulating you, isn’t your friend. They are an addict. I really hope your friend comes back soon.
Im deliberately being vague to avoid being linked irl to this story, but to assuage a random strangers’ criticism of this situation: He applied for multiple of the same programs. He took advantage of the good will of charities and social services by using their services while stealing from them. He got kicked out of many many places during that year for forging identities and stealing from other residents. He had things like food stamps but would just sell them for fractions of their worth for cash. So, Yes he was a mooch. He was not in good faith trying to use these services to better his situation. He was using them to try and get his next fix.
I get what your trying to say but maybe try rephrasing it so its not so accusatory towards a person you have no fucking clue about.