That’d be a good band name

My phone’s camera app just doesn’t scan qr codes. It’s actually really frustrating. I refuse to install a specific qr scanner, but I’d still like the ability to scan a menu code at restaurants or to get the WiFi connection at a hotel…

Hmmmm…I’d never thought of that…but goddamnit you’re right! Guess I’ll be telling the wife we need to pump a few out!

Nah, what he means by “traditional family values” is the women folk stay indoors, keep the house, pump out kids til they’re a dead shriveled husk, the men get to do whatever they want, sleep around whatever. And if they feel like the wife or kids are talking back they beat the everliving fuck out of em, and that’s fine because the wife and kids shouldn’t have been talking back to the man of the house…

He’s not a hypocrite, he just doesn’t mean the same thing you think he is with the words he’s using.

My cat has a new obsession: sticking his head out of the cat flap, seeing that it’s raining, staying still, coming back in, meowing at me like “Daaad, it’s raining” and starting the cycle again.

My cat does this, except he goes all the way out, stands under the one leaky bit of the guttering 3 stories up, comes in soaked, yells until you dry him off and repeats. It’s gotten to the point we just lock him in if it’s raining. That way he yells about being imprisoned for a few minutes then goes and has a nap until the next meal time.