Em Adespoton

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Joined 2 years ago
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Cake day: June 4th, 2023

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  • I think you may have missed the point I was making though— clubs and other pastimes didn’t make people less lonely; they only distracted people from their loneliness. Today the same distractions can be found via social media, so instead of all those other activities, people just need a phone.

    But the anonymizing nature of social media means people feel more free to discuss their loneliness when they do self-reflect.


  • I think you have something here. I grew up in the country where people had to actively seek out activities and relationships, including with people they may not otherwise choose to be around. In the city/burbs, I actively chose to travel by foot/transit/someone else’s vehicle, even though it would have been easier to drive everywhere (I mean, sidewalks that just… vanish halfway to a destination? No transit east-west on major arteries? City planners obviously are prioritizing vehicle traffic).

    But as a result, I’ve never felt isolated AND have the skills to connect with others who aren’t like me. It’s those skills that seem to have been going away as people hide themselves in their social media bubbles and behind their steering wheels. The same opportunities for socialization are still there, but they take more effort than people are used to making because there’s easier alternatives available than there used to be.


  • Here’s a theory. I’m sure it has lots of holes in it.

    Male loneliness has always been a thing. In cultures where it isn’t/wasn’t, there was a strong family relationship and older men modelling how to relate to others.

    To hide from loneliness, men were able to join clubs, hang out at pubs, volunteer, or bury themselves in work.

    In fact, those same pastimes are still available today.

    What’s changed is that it is now socially OK to talk about loneliness (at least in online forums like this), so more people are aware it’s an issue.




  • That’s… extremely useful to know and highlights the issues I have with databases like MySQL.

    IMO, a DB should always have a type defined for a field, and if that type is UTF-8, and it means just the mb3 subset, you should only be able to store mb3 data in it. Not enforcing the field type is what leads to data-based function and security issues. There should also be restrictions on how data is loaded from fields depending on their type, with mb3 allowing for MySQL transform operations and binary requiring a straight read/write, with some process outside the DB itself handling the resulting binary data stream.

    /rant