Imho the worst are those who crucify the patriarchy at every point, then a man chimes in to criticize calmly the words chosen are inappropriate for the given situation, or outright hurtful, then the radical anti-patriarchy combatants shut down that person as the most vile being they deserve to feel terrible. And that guy ill-adjusts, be it on a personal level of despair or combative misogyny, and the anti-patriarchy combatants continue their cycle, because clearly they were right from the get-go, men are misogynistic and don’t speak about their problems. Rinse and repeat.
Please, don’t be that type of anti-patriarchy fighter. It doesn’t matter that you describe yourself as super leftist progressive, if you behave like crap and reinforcing the worst of stereotypes.
I have noticed a pattern in myself, which I suspect could be true for others too. Namely, that I am much more likely to care about someone if the feeling is mutual. On a rational level, I can recognize that this or that person has had a bad time and deserve better, and I want to help them, but if they are hostile or indifferent to me, I kind of stop caring. And vice versa, if I feel that someone cares about me, I will care a lot about them. If this is the case for two people, it can quickly spiral either towards more mutual caring, or more mutual indifference.
Now here’s the tricky part, how do we influence this trajectory? The only way I can think of is to care even if the other person isn’t caring back. Polarizing language can feel good, to assert yourself when you feel hurt, but… is it helpful or detrimental for the bigger picture? It’s so circular and self-reinforcing. So hard to escape.
I get the feeling that many people argue that “well, when they start treating me right, then I will start treating them right, but until then I don’t care”, and sure, I understand that feeling. But the feeling is probably mutual.
Same sentiment here. I always try to care a bit more than the other person so that, assuming most people use proportional caring implicitly, the mutual care can increase steadily.
I often see an issue when trying to communicate your point here, (which I agree with and I also agree that that Patriarchy is a problem), there is no good way to name and call out those as you put it “radical anti-patriarchy combatants.”
Very few are willing to name or talk about “the Matriarchy” or “toxic Femininity.” So we either end up trying to use a long string of less impactful words, (like you did), or we just sweep those “radical anti-patriarchy combatants” under the too broad umbrella of Patriarchy and end up hidden from sight.
So the next time you need to call out one of those radical anti-patriarchy combatants, name them for what they are-- a toxic feminist and are adding to the problem of the Matriarchy. Just as you would call out any toxic male as being a problem part of the Patriarchy. Then sit back and watch them come unglued.
Because we desperately need equality for all and we need to support each other as best we can and when we can. To quote the famous Canadian philosopher, Red Green-- “Remember, we’re all in this together.”
Imho the worst are those who crucify the patriarchy at every point, then a man chimes in to criticize calmly the words chosen are inappropriate for the given situation, or outright hurtful, then the radical anti-patriarchy combatants shut down that person as the most vile being they deserve to feel terrible. And that guy ill-adjusts, be it on a personal level of despair or combative misogyny, and the anti-patriarchy combatants continue their cycle, because clearly they were right from the get-go, men are misogynistic and don’t speak about their problems. Rinse and repeat.
Please, don’t be that type of anti-patriarchy fighter. It doesn’t matter that you describe yourself as super leftist progressive, if you behave like crap and reinforcing the worst of stereotypes.
There is no patriarchy, there is an overwhelming majority of misandrists online though.
I mean this is laughably wrong, and says a lot about you.
Wow, that empty argument of yours can be used against you too! Convenient! Zero effort on your end and mine.
Why are your feelings hurt because somebody was mean to the patriarchy? The patriarchy sucks. It doesn’t deserve your sympathy.
I have noticed a pattern in myself, which I suspect could be true for others too. Namely, that I am much more likely to care about someone if the feeling is mutual. On a rational level, I can recognize that this or that person has had a bad time and deserve better, and I want to help them, but if they are hostile or indifferent to me, I kind of stop caring. And vice versa, if I feel that someone cares about me, I will care a lot about them. If this is the case for two people, it can quickly spiral either towards more mutual caring, or more mutual indifference.
Now here’s the tricky part, how do we influence this trajectory? The only way I can think of is to care even if the other person isn’t caring back. Polarizing language can feel good, to assert yourself when you feel hurt, but… is it helpful or detrimental for the bigger picture? It’s so circular and self-reinforcing. So hard to escape.
I get the feeling that many people argue that “well, when they start treating me right, then I will start treating them right, but until then I don’t care”, and sure, I understand that feeling. But the feeling is probably mutual.
Same sentiment here. I always try to care a bit more than the other person so that, assuming most people use proportional caring implicitly, the mutual care can increase steadily.
I often see an issue when trying to communicate your point here, (which I agree with and I also agree that that Patriarchy is a problem), there is no good way to name and call out those as you put it “radical anti-patriarchy combatants.”
Very few are willing to name or talk about “the Matriarchy” or “toxic Femininity.” So we either end up trying to use a long string of less impactful words, (like you did), or we just sweep those “radical anti-patriarchy combatants” under the too broad umbrella of Patriarchy and end up hidden from sight.
So the next time you need to call out one of those radical anti-patriarchy combatants, name them for what they are-- a toxic feminist and are adding to the problem of the Matriarchy. Just as you would call out any toxic male as being a problem part of the Patriarchy. Then sit back and watch them come unglued.
Because we desperately need equality for all and we need to support each other as best we can and when we can. To quote the famous Canadian philosopher, Red Green-- “Remember, we’re all in this together.”
“I’m a man. It’s my fault. But i can change. If i have to. I guess.”
Remember: I’m pullin’ for ya, and we’re all in this together.
Keep your stick on the ice.
Kind of describes the issues for many men don’t it.
There are far worse role models.
Boy you got the wrong lesson from red green, son.