As a 33y/o single white male, lemme tell you that anyone below 25 is downright unrelatable, 21 y/os aren’t sober enough to give you any real meaningful consent, and younger than that might as well be children.
I get it though, I’m talking about a relationship. Hooking up with 18-20 is appealing for a hot minute when you only pay attention to physical attraction. But when you think about yourself at 18-20 you were still super influencial and don’t know how consent fully worked yet.
Plus, unless you’ve been an athlete in top physical shape, age has caught up with you. ED hits in the 30s. Muscles weaken. Arthritis is beginning to form. I’ve never had cavities until 31.
I have stuff and money. But stuff and money is a power imbalance. An intimate relationship with someone so young would feel closer to a lengthy time with a naive hooker more than anything.
That’s talking from a western and probably highly US-influenced perspective. Most westerners will probably find it OK if a 35 yo woman dates an 18 yo man, but the other way around it’s “gross”.
If we’re fine with 18 year olds making decisions like enlisting in the army, why are we grossed out by them dating people double their age?
I have stuff and money. But stuff and money is a power imbalance. An intimate relationship with someone so young would feel closer to a lengthy time with a naive hooker more than anything.
That’s great for you, not all 18 year olds are naive hookers.
No, they aren’t. I didn’t say they were. I said it would feel like that. There is no 18 year old who has advanced education, faced many of the challenges of adulthood, and they still have 7 years of brain development left.
By that logic, 18 year olds shouldn’t drive, own a gun, enter the military, bear children, and many because they are in danger of killing themselves and others. Why are you not drawing the line at all those things but dating older men? Dating older men is more dangerous than the military? Than driving? That choosing the wrong profession?
No, I stated that it being legal doesn’t make it not gross.
Something being gross is an opinion. The law can change. In my opinion, it’s gross. I’m not arguing against the law, I’m saying it’s gross.
Instead of being offended, and trying to deflect my opinion on things that I coincidentally agree on (yes, I think 18 is too immature for all of that. I’m basing that opinion solely on the age when brain development finishes at 25), try to convince me it isn’t gross.
I’m disagreeing with the legal gross thing, I’m saying you are highly influenced by a US perspective that isn’t morally superior to anything. Also, I’m not offended, you seem to be since you’re the one repeatedly saying “gross” like a little child. If you cannot be reasoned with and will just be “grossed out” by it, well then, there’s nothing more to say.
It’s legal. I’m not advocating changing that. I’m expressing my opinion it’s gross.
What you are saying is that I can’t have my opinion. Or that my opinion is wrong. Yes I judge others based on that opinion. But my opinion isn’t preventing anyone from being gross.
Is there some translation thing going on here where my opinion has direct impact on you? It’s not meant to. It’s meant to say that I think a 38 y/o and an 18 year old dating is gross.
Because it’s an opinion, if you wanted me to have a different one, you would explain why it isn’t gross. Instead I’m “influenced by a US perspective (that is not true, your opinion is common here too).” Morally superior? Fine. Maybe I am being morally superior, but I am not advocating for it to be illegal. That doesn’t make sense. 18 has been decided in the States as the age of majority. Adults can adult.
I’ve always held to the rule of divide your age in half and add 7 as a good judge of the absolute youngest age you should consider dating someone.
At 18, that would mean 16 is the youngest they should consider dating. At 38, it would be 26.
I’m right around the same age as you, and I feel much the same way. I can relate to and was on very good terms with the high school kids I used to work with at my old job all through my late 20s, but I could never imagine myself dating someone who is in college or just graduated. Even at that age, people are still developing so much and lack life experience that it’s hard to relate to them on the same level. I could relate to them in the same way as the kids I worked with, in a “I remember what it was like to be that age” kind of way, but that’s about it.
Legal doesn’t make it not gross.
As a 33y/o single white male, lemme tell you that anyone below 25 is downright unrelatable, 21 y/os aren’t sober enough to give you any real meaningful consent, and younger than that might as well be children.
I get it though, I’m talking about a relationship. Hooking up with 18-20 is appealing for a hot minute when you only pay attention to physical attraction. But when you think about yourself at 18-20 you were still super influencial and don’t know how consent fully worked yet.
Plus, unless you’ve been an athlete in top physical shape, age has caught up with you. ED hits in the 30s. Muscles weaken. Arthritis is beginning to form. I’ve never had cavities until 31.
I have stuff and money. But stuff and money is a power imbalance. An intimate relationship with someone so young would feel closer to a lengthy time with a naive hooker more than anything.
That’s talking from a western and probably highly US-influenced perspective. Most westerners will probably find it OK if a 35 yo woman dates an 18 yo man, but the other way around it’s “gross”.
If we’re fine with 18 year olds making decisions like enlisting in the army, why are we grossed out by them dating people double their age?
That’s great for you, not all 18 year olds are naive hookers.
No, they aren’t. I didn’t say they were. I said it would feel like that. There is no 18 year old who has advanced education, faced many of the challenges of adulthood, and they still have 7 years of brain development left.
By that logic, 18 year olds shouldn’t drive, own a gun, enter the military, bear children, and many because they are in danger of killing themselves and others. Why are you not drawing the line at all those things but dating older men? Dating older men is more dangerous than the military? Than driving? That choosing the wrong profession?
No, I stated that it being legal doesn’t make it not gross.
Something being gross is an opinion. The law can change. In my opinion, it’s gross. I’m not arguing against the law, I’m saying it’s gross.
Instead of being offended, and trying to deflect my opinion on things that I coincidentally agree on (yes, I think 18 is too immature for all of that. I’m basing that opinion solely on the age when brain development finishes at 25), try to convince me it isn’t gross.
I’m disagreeing with the legal gross thing, I’m saying you are highly influenced by a US perspective that isn’t morally superior to anything. Also, I’m not offended, you seem to be since you’re the one repeatedly saying “gross” like a little child. If you cannot be reasoned with and will just be “grossed out” by it, well then, there’s nothing more to say.
But that’s not how that works?!?
It’s gross to me.
It’s legal. I’m not advocating changing that. I’m expressing my opinion it’s gross.
What you are saying is that I can’t have my opinion. Or that my opinion is wrong. Yes I judge others based on that opinion. But my opinion isn’t preventing anyone from being gross.
Is there some translation thing going on here where my opinion has direct impact on you? It’s not meant to. It’s meant to say that I think a 38 y/o and an 18 year old dating is gross.
Because it’s an opinion, if you wanted me to have a different one, you would explain why it isn’t gross. Instead I’m “influenced by a US perspective (that is not true, your opinion is common here too).” Morally superior? Fine. Maybe I am being morally superior, but I am not advocating for it to be illegal. That doesn’t make sense. 18 has been decided in the States as the age of majority. Adults can adult.
It’s still gross.
I’ve always held to the rule of divide your age in half and add 7 as a good judge of the absolute youngest age you should consider dating someone.
At 18, that would mean 16 is the youngest they should consider dating. At 38, it would be 26.
I’m right around the same age as you, and I feel much the same way. I can relate to and was on very good terms with the high school kids I used to work with at my old job all through my late 20s, but I could never imagine myself dating someone who is in college or just graduated. Even at that age, people are still developing so much and lack life experience that it’s hard to relate to them on the same level. I could relate to them in the same way as the kids I worked with, in a “I remember what it was like to be that age” kind of way, but that’s about it.