I suppose the underlying point by bringing up that I’m bi is that the implication isn’t that straight men struggle to have positive deep non-sexual relationships with women easily because they’re attracted to them. Not because they are women. Its likely straight men probably internalize misogyny from their experiences without proper self reflection. Not realizing that’s more that they just hate being “down bad” for people. Unfulfilled desire is miserable, I might be an atheist but the Buddhists have a half a point there.
As for your thoughts on my situation, I’m aware its fine that I’m attracted to them ethically. Talking to them less wont improve my mental health situation much though because its not precisely discomfort with the individual interaction that is the issue exactly, I just become dumber when I do.
Its more of a deep existential dread that comes with having to regularly see and interact with people I want to be intimate with very badly but knowing It’ll likely never happen and knowing I’ll never ever be able to convey those feelings honestly with people I see more than basically anyone else in my life. (Work basically takes up everyone’s life in the modern age) Like, if I keep my interactions long or brief doesn’t fundamentally matter. The rumination comes for me later regardless.
So a real tangent: I guess really the issue is that I need a third place with people I’m attracted to in it that I go to everyday but I haven’t the foggiest idea what that would even be in my situation. I have a long commute because I can’t afford to live closer to a population center, so bars are out of the question, so I just rot at home exhausted after work everyday in the middle of nowhere. I hate capitalism and living in the midwest so fucking much. I also despise mononormative culture.
🙏 thank you for making this comment so I didn’t have to.
Any groups or anything near where you are? Usually people make clubs or anything, even if it’s something you hate you’ll usually find it fun if there are good people there. Also just going to a park (if there is one) and reading, you can find some cool people who want to chat.
As for dating coworkers, you know your situation better than me, but most people won’t care that much if you just say hey this coffee shop is pretty good if you want to go, gives them an easy out (I’m busy) and doesn’t put too much out there.
I suppose the underlying point by bringing up that I’m bi is that the implication isn’t that straight men struggle to have positive deep non-sexual relationships with women easily because they’re attracted to them. Not because they are women. Its likely straight men probably internalize misogyny from their experiences without proper self reflection. Not realizing that’s more that they just hate being “down bad” for people. Unfulfilled desire is miserable, I might be an atheist but the Buddhists have a half a point there.
As for your thoughts on my situation, I’m aware its fine that I’m attracted to them ethically. Talking to them less wont improve my mental health situation much though because its not precisely discomfort with the individual interaction that is the issue exactly, I just become dumber when I do.
Its more of a deep existential dread that comes with having to regularly see and interact with people I want to be intimate with very badly but knowing It’ll likely never happen and knowing I’ll never ever be able to convey those feelings honestly with people I see more than basically anyone else in my life. (Work basically takes up everyone’s life in the modern age) Like, if I keep my interactions long or brief doesn’t fundamentally matter. The rumination comes for me later regardless.
So a real tangent: I guess really the issue is that I need a third place with people I’m attracted to in it that I go to everyday but I haven’t the foggiest idea what that would even be in my situation. I have a long commute because I can’t afford to live closer to a population center, so bars are out of the question, so I just rot at home exhausted after work everyday in the middle of nowhere. I hate capitalism and living in the midwest so fucking much. I also despise mononormative culture.
🙏 thank you for making this comment so I didn’t have to.
Any groups or anything near where you are? Usually people make clubs or anything, even if it’s something you hate you’ll usually find it fun if there are good people there. Also just going to a park (if there is one) and reading, you can find some cool people who want to chat.
As for dating coworkers, you know your situation better than me, but most people won’t care that much if you just say hey this coffee shop is pretty good if you want to go, gives them an easy out (I’m busy) and doesn’t put too much out there.