This is the perfect time to dress fancy on the way in while smuggling in a bag of clothes. Change in the bathroom then come out in overalls, a dirty trucker cap, a “Marlboro Cigarettes” t shirt and workboots. “Too upscale?”
Still a bit too upscale, though. I was thinking, top to bottom:
semi-transparent green sun visor
really work on that mustache; if it’s too full, thin it out until it’s scraggly and wispy
the Marlboro logo idea is great, but I think here you have to sacrifice to advertise that you’re “The Father of the Bride,” complete with printed bow-tie at the neck
Cargo shorts
Calf socks
Sandals, but not Birkenstock! Make sure it’s a cheap brand
Don’t forget a profusion of temporary tattoos on your calfs and arms! Extra points if they look poorly done and faded.
you can get black teeth caps that make it look like you’re missing teeth. Don’t skimp on accessories!
And, most importantly: a fanny pack.
I’ll admit, it’s mixing metaphors a bit, but at this point you’re shooting for more than just looking poor; you’re aiming beyond sheer embarrassment. You need to attain complete mortification.
This is the perfect time to dress fancy on the way in while smuggling in a bag of clothes. Change in the bathroom then come out in overalls, a dirty trucker cap, a “Marlboro Cigarettes” t shirt and workboots. “Too upscale?”
🤝
Still a bit too upscale, though. I was thinking, top to bottom:
And, most importantly: a fanny pack.
I’ll admit, it’s mixing metaphors a bit, but at this point you’re shooting for more than just looking poor; you’re aiming beyond sheer embarrassment. You need to attain complete mortification.