Are people not allowed to have a huge fight until after 1 year in the relationship?
Fights happen. A relationship that never fights is unrealistic and a problem. This insinuates to others that fighting in the first year is bad or wrong, and that’s just not necessarily true.
A relationship that never fights is unrealistic and a problem
I’m not sure how you define “fight.” For me (and probably many others), it conjures an image of violence.
A lot of people in relationships resolve disagreements through discussion. If a partner were unable to discuss an issue without getting violent (even non-physical violence, like shouting), they wouldn’t remain my partner. Point is, being able to resolve issues in a mature way is a basic requirement for many relationships.
I know that isn’t everyone’s experience though. I can only imagine how much crap you’ve been through for “relationship fights” to feel so normal. I’m sorry, that has to really suck. :(
In a marriage/committed partnership, I think most people would consider a fight to be an argument with raised voices and some ill feeling. I really don’t think most people consider shouting to be violent. Upsetting, maybe, but violent?
Fair enough. But do most people really think it’s healthy to shout at their partners when they disagree over something? I’m kind of shocked at how many people are voting as if that’s a normal expectation in a relationship.
I think what OP was pointing out was the severity of the fight, and the way that it has illustrated fundamentally different expectations of this new relationship so soon – not just that there has been a fight within the first year because you’re right, disagreements are normal and usually healthy.
Are people not allowed to have a huge fight until after 1 year in the relationship?
Fights happen. A relationship that never fights is unrealistic and a problem. This insinuates to others that fighting in the first year is bad or wrong, and that’s just not necessarily true.
It’s like you read the first sentence and then stopped
I’m not sure how you define “fight.” For me (and probably many others), it conjures an image of violence.
A lot of people in relationships resolve disagreements through discussion. If a partner were unable to discuss an issue without getting violent (even non-physical violence, like shouting), they wouldn’t remain my partner. Point is, being able to resolve issues in a mature way is a basic requirement for many relationships.
I know that isn’t everyone’s experience though. I can only imagine how much crap you’ve been through for “relationship fights” to feel so normal. I’m sorry, that has to really suck. :(
In a marriage/committed partnership, I think most people would consider a fight to be an argument with raised voices and some ill feeling. I really don’t think most people consider shouting to be violent. Upsetting, maybe, but violent?
Fair enough. But do most people really think it’s healthy to shout at their partners when they disagree over something? I’m kind of shocked at how many people are voting as if that’s a normal expectation in a relationship.
I think what OP was pointing out was the severity of the fight, and the way that it has illustrated fundamentally different expectations of this new relationship so soon – not just that there has been a fight within the first year because you’re right, disagreements are normal and usually healthy.
Fights happen for sure. But the reason? She has no fore thought.