Okay this is gonna probably make absolutely zero sense, but I’m gonna try and explain:
(This might cause some brain damage and you might lose a few braincells from reading this)
For context, most of my family are US Citizens, we were all born in China.
My mom (and my dad, somewhat) is just so big on “Tough on crime”, whenever there were alleged lootings during protests, my parents would be okay with them getting shot to death. Constantly blame “Democrats” for crime and the “migrant crisis”. Also love their Wechat and constantly play (Chinese) nationalistic songs and other propaganda on the fucking speaker. Also, if you are dealing with severe depression, and temporarily can’t work, they call you a “廢柴”, basically the cantonese term equivalent of the term “useless eater”.
My brother is into some crazy conspiracy theory that the Chinese Government is in a conspiracy to replace Han Chinese with, not only Chinese ethnic minorities, but African Migrants (like wtf dude), basically the equivalent of the “white replacement conspiracy theory” but in China instead (yea it sounds insane, doesn’t it? Like… buddy, China doesn’t even give permanent residency to foreigners, what the fuck is this insane conspiracy theory? Also, he’s a US Citizen, why the fuck does he care?). Simultaneously, he opposes racism from white people in the US (… some crazy hypocrisy, isn’t it? 🤨).
Tell me this isn’t just me with the most insane family in the world.
one of my relatives is a flat earther andrew tate support self-proclaimed “top-G”
Well let’s see…
- Father: Statue.
- Stepfather: Conspiracy nut. Believes in a shadow government that strives to control everything while also already controlling everything. Good handyman with practical problem solving skills.
- Mother: Conspiracy nut. Believes in ancient aliens, auras, magic healing crystals, animals doing telepathy for verbal communication, and an occult shadow government. Very creative person, but very little practical skills.
- Little Brother #1 (mom’s side): Conspiracy nut. Believes in… Hard to tell. It keeps changing, but it’s some combination of shadow occults, god spirits, and completely misunderstanding quantum science. Also does drugs, and at some point believed to be the direct descendant of Thor.
- Little Brother #2 (dad’s side): Completely bought into billionaire philanthropy. Believes people like Jeff Bezos and Elon Musk are highly intelligent good people who can’t be greedy because they already have everything. Likes listening to Joe Rogen. Prefers his gut feelings over demonstrated facts. Very creative person who thinks a lot and makes beats.
- Little Sister #1: A very responsible person. Travels a lot. Probably the most mature from all my siblings. Is amazing at working in hospitality, and has gotten job offers from some pretty high profile hotels all over Europe.
- Little Brother #3 (mom’s side): Looks like a tall, lanky hippie and is a botanist. Despite appearances, doesn’t believe and doesn’t care about hippie shit. He just likes plants. Also a D&D player.
- Little Sister #2: Hard to tell. Used to be a rebel, now is just sort of “normal”. Just does basic things, like going to school, having a job…
- Little Brother #4 (dad’s side): Terminally online no-life guy who hardly ever leaves his room, despite being a grown ass man at this point, but still behaves like a dank 16 year old. Sometimes I forget he’s in his 20s. American style right-winger living in Europe, complete with being casually racist and sexist about everything, despite never going out and actually meeting anyone. Has literally no skills or ambitions.
Yeah… You know… I was about to say that my family isn’t batshit insane, but it seems like it is…
It’s kinda amazing how people are just so casually racist among people who they have more in common with than not, but skin color means so much more.
My mom was like that. Despite “having black friends” and all that rot, towards the end of her life after I moved out and left her homeless, she was so racist against POC. Like I distinctly remember the day my wife and I had stopped my and taken her to lunch out of pity, and we discussed her situation. At one point, when asked why she wasn’t willing to try to get into public housing instead of living in a tent city, she told me she “didn’t want to be a light in the dark.”
If, unlike me at the time, you’re baffled by what that means, she was saying she didn’t want to live around black people. Despite having had black friends as roommates within the previous handful of years. I still played dumb and made her spell it out for me in crayon, because man is it fun to make ‘not racist’ people explain their racism in no uncertain terms and make them squirm as they try to dance around it.
Racist people hate being racist without plausible deniability. If they’re gonna say racist shit, make them say it loud and clear
My boyfriend and I were once snapped at during a family gathering because we dared to eat corn on the cob at a barbecue. The argument was something like, “A barbecue is only for meat, everything else is just greens, and the Greens (a german political party) want to ban our schnitzel!!!1!1!” There’s simply nothing else occupying these people’s minds anymore—every topic, no matter how unrelated, somehow always gets dragged back to ThE gReEnS, CoViD vAcCiNaTiOnS, or whatever else.
“They want to take away your hamburgers!”
More common than you think unfortunately. The internet has given anyone the option to find their mental echo chamber.
My parents are hispanic immigrants (both citizens) who voted for trump, are republicans and also hate immigrants. They believe all the Obama drinks children blood stuff, are antivaxers, and since my older sister is with them, she is now also an antivaxer so her children have zero shots of any kind. (Good luck to them in the future if they want to travel)
One of them believes aliens speak to them. I’ve seen a group in my family go to cult like events where they all dress in the same white uniforms and talk about the universe.
The immigrant population voting for Trump is the most ming boggling example of brainwashing I have seen in a long time. It even beats out all the white women voting for Trump instead of Clinton or Harris because they thought “women were too emotional to hold office”.
My family is backwards, into ultra conservative religion and is deeply prejudiced in unconventional ways not (directly) racially. Meanwhile they are pro labor union to the extreme. My sister is all hardcore religious, and she is a deeply abusive and manipulative mach.
Religion has become my primary sign of insanity. Yesterday, the neighbor was beating his kid, so a few neighbors called the cops. When I told my fam, the guy was demon possessed and speaking in tongues. Like, dude drinks way too much some times, but how bat shit must someone be to diagnose a dimwitted drunk as demon possessed.
All I can say is peak leaded fuel happened in the 1980’s. I’m from '84, so I’m not entirely free from doubt, but my parent’s generation… They are generally everything that is wrong with the present, and everyone controlling the head of the dragon ATM.
Haha, demons. Good god, my hillbilly family loves to blame the poor old demons.
If you’re gay there’s a demon in your peepee, rectal cancer there’s a demon in your butt. If you’re broke there must be demons in your wallet, If you’re hungry, there’s a demon in your gut. Tooth decay? You must have licked yourself a demon. Mental breakdown? Demons making you a nut! Every day we’re out here fighting all these demons, at night the sleep paralysis demons fight us!
Demons, demons, demons. Can’t get an erection? Must be a demon in your semen! Visit your local faith healin’, money stealin’, shandra maw hyba maw heep ahbba makoyata dahba sheenda tongue talkin’ preacher tuhday!
