We have joint custody. Daughter lives with each of us for 2 weeks at a time.
Why does this seem like trolling?
17 is underaged in large parts of the world. Period.In only 10 American states and the only European state is Turkey. I’m guessing the rest of the world makes it even lower, 14 in China for example.
Uh, no. World wide average age of consent is 16.
https://www.reddit.com/r/MapPorn/comments/z450ti/age_of_consent_worldwide_world_average_is_16/
I mean, anything in the low teens is wild to me, but a single digit age?
The whole “must be married” thing as well made me chuckle. Partly for the religious interference, but mainly for the ease of which the clause could be abused.
In retrospect, it’s very little to chuckle about.
Honestly, anything below the age of majority is sketchy (excepting a romeo and julet clause) IMHO and I was surprised the average was 16.
Yeah absolutely. My compass has been set to the UK’s sixteen as it’s all I’ve ever known, and even then anything below it (excluding the exceptions you’ve noted) feels a bit icky.
That’s certainly one of the color schemes of all time.
3 adults and only 1 cares about the child.
Naja, pauschale Ablehnung bringt aber auch nix. Damit stößt du deiner Tochter nur vor den Kopf. Wie wäre es, wenn du dir den Typen mal selber anschaust und dir ein selbst ein Bild von ihm machst? Also rein des Zweckes wegen? Ich denke das hilft mehr irgendwie darauf einzugehen. Ich kann die Ablehnung aber verstehen. Da keinerlei Bedenken zu haben ist ein wenig dumm.
Ich habe gerade eine Regel eingeführt: Du darfst ihn nicht sehen, solange du bei mir wohnst. Zum Glück versteht und respektiert meine Tochter meine Gefühle, also ist sie damit einverstanden. Das war’s mit der „Ablehnung“. Ich möchte eine gute Beziehung zu ihr aufrechterhalten.
Baldiger Auszug wann? Außerdem wird sie sich dann wohl erstmal im Geheimen treffen. Hoffe du gibts nicht nur Verbote aus sondern redest intensiv mit ihr darüber, konstruktiv. Andernfalls wird die gute Beziehung bald darunter leiden.
Ja gut, das geht auch. Denke was ich sagen wollte ist: Dann passiert es halt hinter deinem Rücken. Also ich kenne keine der Beteiligten hier… Aber vielleicht sagst du deiner Tochter noch einmal sehr unmissverständlich, dass du für sie da bist. Also falls du das leisten kannst/willst. Ich weiß halt nicht ob man sich nach so einer Absprache traut etwaige Probleme auf den Tisch zu bringen. Und die Spekulation ist ja, dass die Situation zu Problemen führen wird. Da wäre es für deine Tochter vielleicht wichtig zu wissen/fühlen: auch wenn du ihn nicht da haben möchtest, dass sie trotzdem mit dir reden soll, wenn etwas ist.
Ich habe ihr klar gemacht, dass ich immer für sie da sein werde, egal was, wenn sie etwas braucht; Rat, Hilfe, Unterstützung… Sie kann mit mir über alles reden. Das weiß sie.
Knaller, ja so sollte es sein. Dann wünsche ich ihr, dass sie irgendwie ihr Glück im Leben findet. Irgendwie muss man das ja selber machen. Und wenn ich mich daran zurückerinnere, wie ich mit 17 war… Naja, sicherlich habe ich mir da eingebildet sehr viel mehr über das Leben zu wissen, als ich tatsächlich wusste.
Ich hab mal eine Flexikon Podcast Folge über das Thema gehört. Also das ist sicherlich nicht leicht, wenn einer mehr als doppelt so alt ist. Man hat unterschiedliche Interessen, ist in unterschiedlichen Lebenssituationen, es gibt Gefälle in der Beziehung… Und gesellschaftlich ist man damit auch nicht akzeptiert. Also wenn es nicht sowieso eine vorübergehende Phase ist, ist es bestimmt nicht leicht. Aber das sind Beziehungen und Partnerschaft ohnehin nicht…
My dad was the same way with my sister. Totally abandoned her to pedos, and I was the problem for having an issue with it.
If I had to guess, this is a daughter trying to fill the void of a father figure. I don’t see a problem with the pairing but the reason is unfortunate. The dynamic won’t be normal but that’s not necessarily a bad thing.
The man will likely move on when he realizes he can’t get more than the physical aspect from this. He’s probably just reliving his youth for a bit anyway. It’ll pass.
I don’t suppose there’s any chance this could be used as grounds to get sole custody?
It’s difficult though, because she’s old enough that it’s not going to be very long before there’s nothing you can do to stop it, and even if you mean well, there’s a chance this could irreparably harm your relationship with your daughter. Especially if it takes lawyers to do…
In America, in some states, that’s called “statutory rape”.
Surprisingly few
It’s always crazy to me how frequently this is overlooked. If you went out and asked 1000 random ppl what the legal age was in the country, I feel like pretty much all of them would say 18. I could’ve sworn it was 18 nationally like my entire life until a few years ago when I found this out.
If I had to answer, I’d prob say 17, but 16 some places tbh
Yes, just do not take pictures or cross state lines for sure.
I’m sorry dog but that’s not the lesson here
The lesson here is that in many states, if you’re a senior in High School and dating a junior, you risk getting put on the sex offenders watch list for your entire life if your partner’s parents don’t approve.
Cite a case or GTFO
Romeo and Juliet laws are a thing specifically to prevent this.
Well, about half the states have one, so that is no guarantee, either.
Oh, I agree, just saying that’s probably why people think 18.
Sounds like a chip off the old block. Good for you, OP, for sticking your dick in crazy and allowing that crazy to breed more crazy. You reap what you sow.
Only solution i can provide is save your message logs and hire a lawyer for full custody.
This sounds like the beginning of a telenovela or a “Law and Order: Special Victims Unit” episode.
Would you be alright if she were 18 and “legal”? What’s the age difference you would be comfortable with?
OP is from Germany, where the age of consent is 14.
Legal doesn’t make it not gross.
As a 33y/o single white male, lemme tell you that anyone below 25 is downright unrelatable, 21 y/os aren’t sober enough to give you any real meaningful consent, and younger than that might as well be children.
I get it though, I’m talking about a relationship. Hooking up with 18-20 is appealing for a hot minute when you only pay attention to physical attraction. But when you think about yourself at 18-20 you were still super influencial and don’t know how consent fully worked yet.
Plus, unless you’ve been an athlete in top physical shape, age has caught up with you. ED hits in the 30s. Muscles weaken. Arthritis is beginning to form. I’ve never had cavities until 31.
I have stuff and money. But stuff and money is a power imbalance. An intimate relationship with someone so young would feel closer to a lengthy time with a naive hooker more than anything.
Legal doesn’t make it not gross.
That’s talking from a western and probably highly US-influenced perspective. Most westerners will probably find it OK if a 35 yo woman dates an 18 yo man, but the other way around it’s “gross”.
If we’re fine with 18 year olds making decisions like enlisting in the army, why are we grossed out by them dating people double their age?
I have stuff and money. But stuff and money is a power imbalance. An intimate relationship with someone so young would feel closer to a lengthy time with a naive hooker more than anything.
That’s great for you, not all 18 year olds are naive hookers.
No, they aren’t. I didn’t say they were. I said it would feel like that. There is no 18 year old who has advanced education, faced many of the challenges of adulthood, and they still have 7 years of brain development left.
By that logic, 18 year olds shouldn’t drive, own a gun, enter the military, bear children, and many because they are in danger of killing themselves and others. Why are you not drawing the line at all those things but dating older men? Dating older men is more dangerous than the military? Than driving? That choosing the wrong profession?
No, I stated that it being legal doesn’t make it not gross.
Something being gross is an opinion. The law can change. In my opinion, it’s gross. I’m not arguing against the law, I’m saying it’s gross.
Instead of being offended, and trying to deflect my opinion on things that I coincidentally agree on (yes, I think 18 is too immature for all of that. I’m basing that opinion solely on the age when brain development finishes at 25), try to convince me it isn’t gross.
I’m disagreeing with the legal gross thing, I’m saying you are highly influenced by a US perspective that isn’t morally superior to anything. Also, I’m not offended, you seem to be since you’re the one repeatedly saying “gross” like a little child. If you cannot be reasoned with and will just be “grossed out” by it, well then, there’s nothing more to say.
But that’s not how that works?!?
It’s gross to me.
It’s legal. I’m not advocating changing that. I’m expressing my opinion it’s gross.
What you are saying is that I can’t have my opinion. Or that my opinion is wrong. Yes I judge others based on that opinion. But my opinion isn’t preventing anyone from being gross.
Is there some translation thing going on here where my opinion has direct impact on you? It’s not meant to. It’s meant to say that I think a 38 y/o and an 18 year old dating is gross.
Because it’s an opinion, if you wanted me to have a different one, you would explain why it isn’t gross. Instead I’m “influenced by a US perspective (that is not true, your opinion is common here too).” Morally superior? Fine. Maybe I am being morally superior, but I am not advocating for it to be illegal. That doesn’t make sense. 18 has been decided in the States as the age of majority. Adults can adult.
It’s still gross.
I’ve always held to the rule of divide your age in half and add 7 as a good judge of the absolute youngest age you should consider dating someone.
At 18, that would mean 16 is the youngest they should consider dating. At 38, it would be 26.
I’m right around the same age as you, and I feel much the same way. I can relate to and was on very good terms with the high school kids I used to work with at my old job all through my late 20s, but I could never imagine myself dating someone who is in college or just graduated. Even at that age, people are still developing so much and lack life experience that it’s hard to relate to them on the same level. I could relate to them in the same way as the kids I worked with, in a “I remember what it was like to be that age” kind of way, but that’s about it.
Age of consent in Germany is 14 but for someone over 21 years old it’s 16.
Still 14 unless the over 21yold exploits an underdeveloped sense of sexual self-determination. Only prosecuted on demand, cases are very rare, and usually brought on by parents and then thrown out by the court after talking to the younger party.
17 is still young enough to fall under sugar daddying protections, “in exchange for money or money-valued things”, those apply until 18. That would presuppose a transactional relationship, though.
That makes it legal.
It doesn’t make it not gross.
What a cunt.
Die zweite Hälfte ist ja auch mal … etwas
This seems extremely phishy
This definitely feels like a job for a professional family therapist.
