This is a great slogan but it’s not an absolute. It’s definitively based on an emotional response to a feeling of betrayal, and while I can agree that it’s likely in most scenarios, I really do wish people wouldn’t just spout it as if it is a defining characteristic of every cheating party in history.
Do you want a solutions based conversation or an emotionally supportive one. Because my point isn’t about the recidivism rates of cheaters but about the fact that labels hurt any and all conversations involving them by smothering the flow of conversation. Meaning someone who is in a situation that might lead to cheating will not seek or is not likely to get advice that would mitigate such behavior.
At the risk of sounding like i must be a cheater myself, are you suggesting that once someone cheats they are no longer a human worthy of empathy and nuanced consideration of circumstances?
It’s pretty damn close to being an absolute. As someone who has never been involved in an adulterous relationship in any form, I would never get with someone who has cheated. They have shown they are absolutely willing to violate an intimate partners trust, lie about it, and leave them (likely with little to no guilt). If they can do it once, they can, and likely will, do it again.
Passionate love and Companionate love are two different things. And passionate love never lasts forever. If you’re with someone who is willing to cheat to find that passionate love, then when it dies with you, they are likely to go on to the next short term passionate love.
If you want to make the argument that someone cheated in a relationship with an abusive partner, there are still substantial red flags there. Without showing how they’ve made great strides to be a different person (therapy, self improvement, etc) I can’t see them being a trustworthy long term partner. And there is no way someone could have made those improvements if they went from one partner immediately to the next.
People who go to prison are more likely to re-offend by an exorbitant rate in America. This is because the system is set up to make them fail. Do you want to be the change in the world you want to see or do you want to set people up to fail by making the entire topic completely one-sided and vilifying everyone involved.
This is a great slogan but it’s not an absolute. It’s definitively based on an emotional response to a feeling of betrayal, and while I can agree that it’s likely in most scenarios, I really do wish people wouldn’t just spout it as if it is a defining characteristic of every cheating party in history.
The recurrence rate of cheaters cheating again is staggering.
Do you want a solutions based conversation or an emotionally supportive one. Because my point isn’t about the recidivism rates of cheaters but about the fact that labels hurt any and all conversations involving them by smothering the flow of conversation. Meaning someone who is in a situation that might lead to cheating will not seek or is not likely to get advice that would mitigate such behavior.
You sound like someone who has cheated.
At the risk of sounding like i must be a cheater myself, are you suggesting that once someone cheats they are no longer a human worthy of empathy and nuanced consideration of circumstances?
It’s pretty damn close to being an absolute. As someone who has never been involved in an adulterous relationship in any form, I would never get with someone who has cheated. They have shown they are absolutely willing to violate an intimate partners trust, lie about it, and leave them (likely with little to no guilt). If they can do it once, they can, and likely will, do it again.
Passionate love and Companionate love are two different things. And passionate love never lasts forever. If you’re with someone who is willing to cheat to find that passionate love, then when it dies with you, they are likely to go on to the next short term passionate love.
If you want to make the argument that someone cheated in a relationship with an abusive partner, there are still substantial red flags there. Without showing how they’ve made great strides to be a different person (therapy, self improvement, etc) I can’t see them being a trustworthy long term partner. And there is no way someone could have made those improvements if they went from one partner immediately to the next.
eh, it is a sign of character, I think it’s safe to assume. it’s on them to prove otherwise to be honest.
Certainly not true 100% of the time, but absolutely worth keeping in mind, especially if one is naive or emotionally immature.
People who go to prison are more likely to re-offend by an exorbitant rate in America. This is because the system is set up to make them fail. Do you want to be the change in the world you want to see or do you want to set people up to fail by making the entire topic completely one-sided and vilifying everyone involved.
Are you trying to say that society is designed to make men cheat? Really?
Adultery used to be a criminal offense.