I think if you were like a handler, close to the deed but not likely to immediately go down, and that the hit was obviously a hit, and it generated the kind of story Iran could package to their benefit, then they would pay you.
Don’t be a spastic killer, don’t leave any questions, get a clean kill and get out, and I’d imagine most countries would pay up. If it works once they’ll want it to work again.
I think you have four issues:
- How to do it, with the security. Honestly, I think with Trump it’d be easier than with other presidents, because he’s a fucking moron who doesn’t listen to experts
- How to get away. I think this may be the most difficult part, since you have to flee the country and make your way somewhere relatively safe
- How to prove to Iran it was you
- How to enjoy your gains, with what would be probably the largest manhunt on the planet likely through to your death
DB Cooper proved 2 and 4 are not impossible, although technology, forensics, and surveillance have drastically changed since Cooper, and I subscribe to the theory that he didn’t survive to spend the money - not only surviving the jump into dense forest, but then trekking out of deep wilderness to civilization were both challenging obstacles. Anyone who’s been through a parachuting course knows the last place you want to land is into a bunch of pine trees (Ok, water can be pretty bad too, but still).
I digress. Assuming you can pull off 1 and 2, and assuming Iran’s not just going to ghost you, 3 is sincerely a difficult problem. How do you contact the right people in Iran? How do you prove it was you, without the support of US intelligence? Maybe some GoPro footage, routed through a scope? Would that be enough?
But I’d be most worried about 4. I can’t imagine enjoying life constantly looking over my shoulder, and even then, there’s no defense from a sword missile once they’ve ID’d you. So you’re going to, what, hide in Iran for the rest of your life? Depending on your race, your options could be limited merely by how much you stick out - a rich white guy living like a king in Papua New Guinea. Maybe try to buy a new identity and continue living in the US, hoping the IRS doesn’t take an interest in you?
It might be accomplished by a terrorist group, planned and tracked hand-in-hand with Iran for verification, via a disposable fanatic and with funds going to the group upon completion. But I think if they could pull that off, they would have already. Terrorist groups tend to be a sledgehammer, rather than a scalpel: effective against unprotected soft targets, impotent against hardened ones.
I think of someone gets Trump, it won’t be for a bounty; it’ll be for ideological reasons, and they won’t expect to survive it. Heck, with the Patriot Act, I wouldn’t want to survive it, b/c they may just decide to torture you for the rest of your natural life and Americans signed away their rights to due process after 9/11. It’ll be another Thomas Crooks, only a better sniper, or some novel approach like some tech coming out of the innovations being developed during the invasion of Ukraine. If I were the Secret Service, that’s what I’d be terrified of. There are some intensely smart, innovative people in Ukraine figuring out fantastical ways of eliminating people, and I think we, the general public, are seeing only the most mundane, oldest examples of what they’re using.
You won’t be able to, Honey will swap out the referral code before you have a chance to collect.
Is there a Kickstarter I can contribute to?
go to Iran and be like pay up?
I don’t think that it works like a Hollywood comedy, where 1000 candidates pop up and each one claims “It was me, it was me!”.
A serious candidate would go there first, make friends, meet the right people. You would make sure that you know where to go afterwards etc. and you want that they know exactly who gets the bounty, before things happen.
There is zero chance anyone who followed through on that would be able to collect a bounty.
McDonald’s could claim the money after his massive coronary due to his Big Mac addiction.
And they will have to file an insurance claim due to the lost sales revenue once he’s gone.
Disney will claim all your belongings since you bought a disney world ticket that one time. Rules are rules.
Or have a free Disney+ trial account from 6 years ago
I suppose if you were able to escape the country and make your way there, they’d provide safe harbor. But the USA would never stop hunting you and they’d have no issue breaking into a sovereign nation to get you.
They wouldn’t even break in to get you. They’d just bomb the six areas you might be hanging out in
So they would be rich the rest of their life?
Build a man a fire, he’ll be warm for a night. Set a man on fire…
I bet you could fake your own death pretty easy if you had 80 million to throw around. You just gotta survive until then.
Most likely outcome (assuming you make it to Iran) is they make a big show of congratulating you and setting you up with a super lavish lifestyle that is totally not a compound that you are definitely allowed to leave if you want but why would you want to with all the people trying to kill you
Pretty much my assessment.
I can have 80 million dollars but I have to live my life in constant fear and in Iran.
You probably don’t want to stay in one place. The US would quickly lob a missile to wherever you are. $80m probably wouldn’t make up for being on the run for the rest of your life in a country that will probably be turned into a war zone.
Bold of you to assume they’d actually pay.
I mean they might pay, but probably not 80 million. And most likely not a lump sum.
Maybe they’d give you a hideout with a decent allowance every X days, and you have to promise to to never criticize or insult their government, and any internet/phone access will probably be monitored (by the Iranians).
And its not gonna be because they care about you, but just to keep you alive as their pet because its kinda like a middle finger to the US. But you are just a pet to them, not some hero.
I think they’d set you up pretty nice - nice digs and lots of play money. Not 80 mil, but enough to not work and have some real fun. Taking out the leader of a sworn enemy is doing them a solid. Fully agreed you’d be their pet for life though
Patsies do the deed, the organizer collects the reward. It wouldn’t be a spectacle back in Iran, they would claim to have no knowledge lest there be retaliation, and also for that reason it wouldn’t be paid by the Iranian government, it would be paid by Iranian financiers and business people, backers of the Immamate, likely even by people living outside Iran, same people who are paying bounties to Hamas for killing Jews, for example, various Iranian-alligned “foundations”; might get some in gold, some in Bitcoin, some in various currencies, probably some even in USD. The person would hole up in some Iranian proxy state, and live out their days lavishly in like Qatar or something, maybe in Pakistan. It’s not like a free for all prize.
Further, this kind of thing might be served ice cold, when nobody expects it. There’s still people trying to kill Salman Rushdie for Iran and his bounty is only $3 million and has stood for forty years. Iran doesn’t have elections every four years with foreign policy swinging around like monkeys from a tree like some fucking people I could mention, they play a long game.
Fun question.
Probably a “friend” of the Iranian state elsewhere in the Middle East. I’m sure there are Saudi finance people who would happily take a 20% commission on passing that payment along.
Lol, the CIA will most definitely have a spy within the ranks of the Iranian government, and even if you somehow avoid the initial identification, the spies would be able to identify you and you get a KGB-style assassination against you (aka: poisoning, or maybe falling out of a window, depending on the agent’s mood), or just a traditional US-style drone strike.
How much is 80 million Iranian dollars when converted to USD?
Edit: 1 Iranian rial is 0.000024 of a dollar. lol that’s not even $2000. I couldn’t even pay a month’s rent with that bounty.
It’s in American. That being said, it seems it wasn’t anything official, just a guy at a funeral that said if every Iranian put aside 1 American dollar, they could pony up a 80 million bounty. The news did the rest.
https://globalnews.ca/news/6370930/trump-bounty-reality-check/
And do think. That guy on the roof was inches away last summer.
A true patriot.
Crazy that the world’s history was almost changed by some deranged idiot with bad aim. Makes you wonder if he was a time traveler trying to save the ww3 timeline and got brain damaged by the time travel machine or smt. Idk would make a good movie.
That’s how these things go.
Deranged idiots changing the course of history, not time travel, time travel is not possible now or ever. You can go forward real slow if you time it right, but can’t go back, not even a little.
Iranian dollars
LMAO
To be fair, I’d take a grilled cheese.
Grilled cheese and no Trump?
versus no grilled cheese and Trump?
the choice seems obvious.
Dude…why is your rent 2K+?
I live in California and it’s 2025?
Damn. My rent is 800, and it feels way too high. Should be like 600.
It’s 2025 and housing costs have been rising for ages now? That’s not that unusual, especially in a city or if you’re renting a decent house.
Like a buck-27.
🤣😂🤣 I didn’t even realize!
Where did you hear about the “80 million bounty”? I found this link referring to a $3 million (USD) bounty.
Oh that’s an old one.
