Been through this before, so I know it gets better eventually, but what do you folks generally do to optimize beddy-bye time? To the insomniacs, what are some things you do in the wee hours/early morning for a relaxing start to your day?
This morning’s choice is checking out the music of Casiopea - saw them mentioned in a meme here recently, then later on saw one of my favourite gig spaces has a great local fusion jazz band doing a show covering them at the end of the month. Very chill, feels like menu music of a mid-90s Japanese 3D game in a very good way, lol. Funny how these things happen sometimes, kinda like seeing the car model you just bought everywhere on the road shortly after purchase.
Celestial Seasonings Tension Tamer for sleeping and relax. Rooibos for Calming and clear thought. Yerba Mate for Waking up and organized thought. I throw the Rooibos into my Yerba Mate drink to start with too. Rooibos lasts about 6 hours. Yerb Mate is everything you thought coffee was going to be that first try but it’s like that every time.
I like easy tidying as a wind down activity. Mostly putting things back in their place. For bed, I have an ereader with warm lighting that’s been great. If I’m without it, something that calms my mental zoomies is practicing the alphabet backwards. I start forward with chunks, “abc - cba,” “abc, def - fed, cba,” etc. It keeps my mind active till I get bored and want to fall asleep.
In my experience, and from speaking with others, taking a break from cannabis can mean remembering dreams more vividly. It might be worth leaning into that: write dreams down when you wake and think about them when you go to bed. I find if I try to think through a dream and build on it, it puts me in that dream-state and I drift off.
Oh, and one last tip. Lights work better than alarms for some. So if you put a lamp on a timer, it may help normalize your wake-up time, if that’s an issue.
Good luck!
- 6 hours before bed: no more caffeine intake. Some people may need to go as high as 12
- 3 hours before bed: no more food. No more drinks with sugar/substitutes.
- 2 hours before bed: no more drinks (not everyone needs this; I have to pee a lot and getting out of bed just before falling asleep or waking up midway sucks)
- 1.5 hours before bed: shower followed by hot bath. Especially if you’re somewhere like Japan where insulation is a joke and everything is drafty and cold currently
- 1 hour before bed: no more active content (games, study, etc.) and preferably no serious content. Watch/read something only for pleasure, meditate, etc. ideally, avoid blue light and bright light in general.
- bedtime: no screens nor lights. Cooler, comfortable temperatures are good. Have comfortable sheets, bedclothes (if you wear them), potentially blackout curtains, etc. and keep them clean
Also, if at all possible, wake up and go to bed at the same time every day including weekends.
This works for me when in the system. The only bad part is if I’m on call or on holiday, my schedule easily gets smashed and takes a long time to get back (some people are luckier and can adjust instantly). Edit: Also, try to make sure you ARE getting light during the waking hours, preferably natural light; this helps with your body’s natural rhythms.
Edit2: also, try to move. Being fully sedentary is hard mode. Also lol at the downvote. At least say why. I realize not everyone is able to do all those, if that’s what your after, but this has all helped me.
I usually do fine on my own, but if I’m struggling, ASMR videos can really put me to sleep.
I don’t really like the ones with girls doing your hair or skincare that are the top search results (but lots of people like them and they might work for you!), and prefer ones that are just simple wooden blocks, glass beads, washboards, etc.
What do you do to get ready for bed?
Uh… I smoke weed. 🤷🏻♂️
One trick I’ve discovered when trying to fall asleep is to try and identify objects in the visual noise you see. Actively identifying a shape makes it appear and leads to more shapes, like an association chain. This really helps me when I can’t sleep, it turns off the thinking part of my brain and allows me to shut off.
I usually put on an audio book or podcast. Lets me put away the screen and turn off the lights. Also keeps the mind sufficiently occupied to not get caught up in runaway thoughts. Inevitably fall asleep after half an hour or so.
Anything that engages the listener would keep me awake, sadly. I have to play music, and ideally music that I’m either very familiar with or that’s so bland and repetitive that I don’t engage.
Seconding audiobooks! If you’re in the US you can usually rent them free via Libby app by entering your library card info.
And for the Canadians in the room, same here!
Now, there’s gonna be holds on the really good stuff* from past experience, but regardless it’s an awesome service.
*Off topic story: I used to work a job that would have unexpected, lengthy periods of downtime. There was one of these periods where I’d browse the new acquisitions in my local library system. There was a book with photos of goats that had 68 holds on it. Literally, it was just a goat photography book.
To this day, I am intensely curious about who these 68 people were, and why they didn’t just get their pictures of goats from the internet like us normal people.
I wish there was some way to dig into this mysterious goat photo collection’s popularity! Do you remember the title?
I almost info dumped in my post but didn’t so now you’ve given me the opportunity to share my additional libby tips for people who aren’t familiar:
- Put holds on popular titles you want to read so that you’ll be in line for them and will have a rotating door of available titles. You can choose to ‘deliver later’ to let the next person in line read it before you without going to the back of the line.
- Some library systems have a larger selection than others and even within the same system some allow more holds than others (this is the case in NYC at least) so it’s worth picking up a card wherever you’re eligible including university libraries.
- If your library system is underfunded and you have family in an area more well funded, they likely have a broader selection. Perhaps a family member who isn’t digitally inclined might let you use their library card #. [Caveat that they will have access to your history via their library record].
Lol, found it - Beautiful Goats: Portraits of Classic Breeds by Felicity Stockwell. My prevailing theory is that there’s a group of folks in my city who just put holds on everything and pass on the titles they don’t actually want.
Good tips!
Ohh good sleuthing. My library doesn’t have it:( Are there any holds on it now?
I’m racking my brain for another theory because I don’t understand reserving a book you don’t want, but I’m coming up blank!
No holds, 2/5 star user rating on my library’s catalogue site, lol.
You can see how I came to this conclusion - haven’t the foggiest otherwise.
Really is boggling—don’t think I’ve seen that many holds on anything at all
Huh - interesting. May just be a function of habit, but I always found stuff like that keeps me awake. I know other people don’t, though - my wife falls asleep to podcasts, but she also puts the TV on as background noise. Never understood that myself - it’s either music, or I’m going to be glued to whatever is on even if I have no inherent interest in it.
Learned a lot about Canada-US border security, food television competitions, and drag competitions that way, lol.
Always interesting to see what strokes work for different folks, though!
I’ve heard a tip, have not tried it, that if you stand next to your bed and repeat “sleepy, sleepy” to yourself that it helps. Don’t know why but a psychiatrist said it.
Interesting! Probably something to do with reinforcement. Wonder what evidence supports that (totally believe it’s a legit suggestion, just curious how people reached that tip).
Physical activity. Do something until you sweat and then do it 5 minutes more. Do that 3 times a day und you will fall asleep from exhaustion. Works every time.
6 minutes of walking three times a day? I don’t know if that’d exhaust me. (Please help, I sweat so much)
Try it and report back. Then we all know :)
I established a solid bedtime routine. Take shower, brush teeth, read a little of something like a book or short story (no news) and then settle into bed. I also use a certain hand lotion right before bed, and only before bed. The smell tells me, it’s time to sleep now. Keeping it consistent even when I am smoking again really helps.
Basic sleep hygiene, no large meals in the evening, try to avoid blue light (blue light filters for screens or avoid screens), try to cool bedoom down before going to bed. Earplugs might help as well. Complete darkness. All those nasty power leds, tape on them. I myself have smart lights so I can’t make them red and real dim so as to avoid any disturbance through light.
Aside from that, melatonin ~30-60 min before hopping into bed and often an ambien 30-5 min before.
Then again that’s even when I do smoke. And I’m understating my medication slightly.
For me the best substitute when I quit weed was genuinely Terry Pratchett novels. They’re sort of whimsical and provoking humorous thoughts. Much like weed often does. And the books are exceedingly good natured, even the baddies aren’t really that evil. Usually they’re more like arbitrary concepts.
So tldr sleep hygiene and reading under a somewhat low light while the room cools down and when it gets too cold and you’re getting tired of reading, close the window and hop into a crispy bed.
Should help at least. Some of these things at least. Probably. Maybe.
All those nasty power leds, tape on them.
We’ve banned anything with yellow, green, or blue LEDs in the bedroom. On top of that:
Complete darkness.
I’ve personally enforced this with some very nice eye shades. If I put them on in even broad daylight I can sleep easily if I’m ready for sleep. They’re like blackout curtains for your eyes. (My SO doesn’t do this; his loss.)
As an extra, I take one shot of liquor an hour before I go to bed. After an hour all the alcohol is metabolized (do not go to sleep with a measurable blood alcohol level!) so I’m relaxed and mellow and ready for sleep.
As an extra, I take one shot of liquor an hour before I go to bed. After an hour all the alcohol is metabolized (do not go to sleep with a measurable blood alcohol level!) so I’m relaxed and mellow and ready for sleep.
It might help get to sleep, but it harms the quality of your sleep. So does my ambien of course, but less so than alcohol, as it’s actually a pharmaceutical designed for that. But it is a drug to get to sleep, primarily.
https://www.wmchealth.org/blogs/the-truth-about-nightcaps-ditch-the-drink-get-a-go-783
Alcohol interferes with the crucial rapid eye movement (REM) sleep stage, impacting memory, learning and mood.
Get some sort of cheap health wristband activity thingy if you want to follow your sleep better. I’ve liked mine, got it last year for 39€. It shows the amount of REM, deep and light sleeps. It might be that you do sleep better with a single drink, but generally science does tend to agree that it reduces quality of sleep. However a few times when I’ve been properly drunk, I’ve actually slept like twice as much and thus gotten more REM sleep, and felt more relaxed when I woke up. But I would say that alcohol does reduce my quality of sleep most of the time, even if it doesn’t necessarily feel like that.
But again, not judging I don’t know what works for you and I take ambien pretty much every night so that’s pretty comparable to one shot imo
It might help get to sleep, but it harms the quality of your sleep.
It harms the quality of your sleep if it’s still in your system. Which is why I warned specifically against that.
You’re thinking that when you don’t have alcohol in your blood and it’s broken down by your body, that “it’s not in your system”? The breakdown produces for instance acetaldehyde and then further into acetate. That’s why people get hangovers and are still sick a long time after the buzz has worn off and there’s no alcohol in their blood.
If you drink alcohol today, the metabolites are still detectable in urine for a few days. No-one just ever tests for those, but actual BAC.
You can detect metabolites of almost anything in urine and/or stool for days. That’s not the question here. The question is do these metabolites interfere with sleep?
From personal experience I know it’s a REALLY bad idea to sleep with any measurable blood alcohol content. When I’ve done that, I fall asleep quickly but I wake up feeling more tired than when I fell asleep. When I let it metabolize first, the quality of the sleep improves dramatically. So it sounds like acetaldehyde and acetate don’t impact my sleep negatively at all.
And from science I know it affects the quality of your sleep.
You do whatever you like but don’t argue against science with some shitty reasoning you made up. That really screams alcohol problem.
So it sounds like acetaldehyde and acetate don’t impact my sleep negatively at all.
Oh yes you just must be immune and the science is wrong, gotcha
The modern version of “it is written in scripture” is “studies say”.
The modern equivalent of “I’m a flaming asshole” is to attribute negative characteristics like “alcohol problem” without evidence. (Ironically this is also anti-science, but let’s not sprain what passes for your brain too strongly here.)
I’m surprised nobody has mentioned sex/masturbation yet. I thought that’s always been the norm, no?
I think that only works for individuals with penises. When I have sex or masturbate, it immediately gives me energy and I’m inclined to jump out of bed and be productive.
…this is embarrassing to say, but I never considered that this could be the case for vagina owners. Without going into too many details (not really my place to share), hasn’t come up with my partner and I re: sex, and I’ve never thought to ask her re: masturbation and sleepiness or lack thereof.
Could always just be an element of personal make up, though. I learned something today! Legit appreciate the added perspective!
That’s a good point
Lol, it’s a good tip, but a) sex has to be scheduled in my house these days, and b) masturbation just hasn’t been cutting it as a sleep aid recently.
Under normal/other circumstances, you’re not wrong :)
so taking a long, hot bath before bed helps me sleep and we got a red light therapy unit and that does it to. Combining both and oh man hard to keep my eyes open.
Ha, I saw that meme and listened to Casiopea all day long while I took down my xmas tree. 😎
For sleep, I’ll put on some sort of white noise, like rain sounds or a crackling fireplace. That usually gets me feeling sleepy. Or sometimes I’ll read a book that I’m not really into (and then my husband will find me dead asleep with a book in my hand and my glasses still on).
When I’ve had shitty sleep, I avoid coffee. I’m more a tea person anyway, but coffee on top of poor sleep makes me a jittery anxious mess. Strong tea will wake me up without the jitters. And I make myself a big breakfast - something like 2 eggs, 3 pieces of Canadian bacon, a slice of buttered raisin toast, and cantaloupe. No phone, tv, or music until I start feeling energetic.
what do you folks generally do to optimize beddy-bye time?
Most of the time, I don’t look at any screen.
Instead, I read (paper book, a journal or a magazine), chat with my spouse, sketch and journal. Earlier in the evening, we may decide to watch a DVD together, but that’s not everyday. No coffee and seldom any tea late in the evening (or something herbal, then).
And almost without exception, the moment I put my head on the pillow I fall asleep. There have been many exceptions to that rule, mind you. That was back in those days where I was trying to escape my own personal daemons instead of facing them (like not getting rid of my own addictions and bad habits).
Like already suggested in the comments, if you have hard time sleeping melatonin is an option but on the short-term only. Don’t make it a long-term habit. I also consider the extra sleep it may give you not the best sleep, no surprise you may feel groggy.
To the insomniacs, what are some things you do in the wee hours/early morning for a relaxing start to your day?
Since I don’t need much sleep and I do my best work early in the morning, most of the days I wake up very early, around 3-4 AM and… I don’t look at any screen either. Imho, it’s even truer to realize that screens and online content are pure poison to the mind and to the soul early in the morning, like they’re in the evening.
I drink a large glass of water and appreciate the quietness for a few minutes. I may flip some pages of a book but most often I just sit or stand still breathing slowly. It probably is the closest thing to meditation, for me.
After I shower and dress, I’ll sit at my desk and start writing longhand—no screen remember, and no music either. Nothing but the still sleeping city around me with its otherworldly quietness, and me slowly scratching some paper with my fountain pen. (In summer, I’ll open the window next to my desk or even go sit on our balcony so I can better appreciate that magical quietness, and a little later start enjoying the company of the earlier-riser of the few remaining birds, the ones that start singing their songs well before car/bus/motorcycle engines overrun their voice for the rest of the day.)
I will write up until we’re getting close to the time my spouse usually wakes up @ 7-8AM (btw, we both work from home) at which time I’ll prepare breakfast and, while she is getting ready, I often will go grab some fresh pastry for her at the local bakery (they’re handmade and she loves them). We have a quiet but also chatty breakfast together. When she’s ready to start working I will go out for my first walk of the day, in order to get my body moving.
Now, the normal day is allowed to start, with its constant noise and its unexpected and very often less than pleasant events. I’m ready ;)
I’m not trying to be pedantic, but your use of the word daemon caught my eye, and being a curious person, I looked up daemon vs. demon. Since you mentioned writing, I figured you’d be interested in the results. In short, most of the time they’re interchangeable alternate spellings, but in mythological or religious contexts, daemons are actually helpful spirits of dead people or lesser deities. TIL! https://english.stackexchange.com/a/39269
You did very well to check and to share the info back with us. Thx.
I should have known better than to use the word ‘daemon’, knowing its etymology and knowing what I meant to say. My poor choice of spelling was mainly caused both by my lacking English (and by me taking a lazy shortcut in my head), and by me not reaching for the Webster or the Collins dictionaries that constantly sit on my desk at arm’s reach, for that very purpose, right next to my French dictionaries. I’m really too lazy.
For Linux 🐧 nerd related context, see also:
Dang, this almost sounds idyllic. What a wonderful way to bookend your day! Kinda jealous.
Taking notes :)
